A great friend and mentor once told me, “Do not let the labels you put on yourself define you…you are definitely more than that. People will only judge you by whatever labels you put on yourself.” That was some profound piece of advice. So basically, if you label yourself as a failure, you will be addressed as a failure. If you label yourself as a guy or chic who has little to none confidence, that is just about the exact label others will pick. That is why I am always disturbed when I hear a lady refer to herself using the “b” word (ooh, you don’t know the b-word? Google…). It is outrageous to demand for respect and value from practically anyone when you rarely value yourself.
I used to have confidence issues. I could cringe at the thought of talking to more than one person. Slowly, I labelled myself as “inadequate”, “antisocial” and “coward”. I used to believe all these attributes were genetic. I even started to trace the roots of fear in our family tree and this really messed me up, especially when that time came and a man has got to man-up and face that pretty girl, hehee! My heart would pound hard and fast! My head would be filled with conflicting thoughts that more often than not made me wince and back away. These thoughts were mostly founded on the labels that I had already created. Labels affected my social life, my academic life, and definitely my personal life. At times I would dread my own self! It had to stop. I had to man-up. I had to be the man I always desired to be; the confident guy with redefined thoughts and realigned perspectives. This took me way too long.
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So you failed? Good, at least you now know where you do not want to head into. Did you break someone’s heart and consequentially think you are a natural heartbreaker? Come on; brace yourself for better experiences and for better decisions ahead. Or were you heartbroken and did this make you feel worthless and incapable of holding a relationship together? I believe the best is yet to come and great things await those who wait patiently. Relabel yourself. You are the boss. You were made for so much more than what your past tries to instigate. You can be anything you put your mind, your energy and your passion to be; including a jerk, a loser, a good-for-nothing, a brag, a heartbreaker or a worthless human. It’s up to you to decide if you will label yourself negatively or positively. Why should you therefore let any mistake, failure, wrong friendships/relationships define you? Define yourself. Discover who you are. Know thyself. Identify the areas you would like to improve in your life. Practice on making those areas perfect. Come on; be you. Be the great you. Be the awesome you, the person who can be a solution to someone else.
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Put your best foot forward. If someone who made it discourages you and tells you that you cannot make it, they lie through their teeth. How else did they make it? If someone who is struggling with demeaning labels pulls your efforts down, tell them to up their game and follow you as you fly past your labels. Make every effort to label yourself as a victor, a conqueror, a success story, a champion, a leader, the “mayor”, the boss, the “chief”, the “General”, the “President”, etc. No one can ever address you as the President or the Champion when you look like some chicken that was rained on, run over by a truck, but still survived, though after an electric insurgence that almost left it featherless. Be the lion. ROAR!!!
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