Beyond Her Smile, Beneath Her Eyes

A lazy Saturday mid-morning; sun’s scorching and from a distance, at the horizon, I see a wavy mirage. Am seated outside my house in campus; a satisfying feeling deep down because I just finished doing my laundry. As I stare into the emptiness of the horizon, I see a figure rise from downhill up towards my direction. I notice long curly hair and an organized poise that speaks confidence and self-awareness. As the figure becomes clearer, her body figure becomes more noticeable. I see a girl in blue jeans and a green top. She walks majestically with no side-turn. Her gaze is focused on the direction she is walking towards. With time, I could fully get a full glimpse of her face… she shines in radiance (probably aided by the sun) and her beauty just sent chills down my spine. As she approaches, our eyes meet and interlock for a few seconds. Then she looks away. I keep staring; throwing away the norm that staring is bad manners of sorts. I just can’t get my eyes off her.

Should I say hi or what? Naah, dude. She is practically not of your league. I mean, you can say hi, then what? What vibe do you have? These are thoughts that went through my head. I had conflicting thoughts, but finally I decided not to say hi. So I watched her meticulously walk away, as I cooped up in my cage of self-doubt. “Hi, my name is Jacob. But you can call me Jake, you know”, suddenly I was in front of her, like a meter or two away, stretching my hand to greet her. “Hi Jake, am Molly. My friends call me Mo.” As that statement met my ears, I went blank. What to do? What to say? Told you dude, you can’t even hold up a conversation. Awkward silence. “So, Molly… headed to the shops? I could take you if you don’t mind.” By now I have gathered confidence. “I don’t. But seems to me you were busy watching your clothes dry at the hang lines?” We both laughed.

So we take a walk with Molly and arrive at the shops. Half of the journey was, of course, graced with awkward silence while the other half was seasoned with random jokes, some dry and some pretty hysterical. All the same, I had taken the initiative to start a conversation with a pretty lady and managed to make her laugh… well it was her mostly who did the rib-cracking. Oh yeah! You did it mayne!  There’s nothing that I did really. Nada. I walked her back to her hostel and went back to my sitting area with just a memory of her face. A memory of her smile, her big brown eyes and her fairly smooth skin. I didn’t even get her number. But beyond her smile, beyond her eyes, is what I really longed to explore… will I really make it?

To be continued..

Don't Let Regret Grace Your Old Age

Source: www.pinterest.com
Yeah, I thought of starting on that note, the Bible. Please take a minute and read the following context slowly. Let it sink in:

Ecclesiastes 1: 1-9(NKJV)

The Vanity of Life

1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

2 “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher;
“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”

3 What profit has a man from all his labor
In which he toils under the sun?
4 One generation passes away, and another generation comes;
But the earth abides forever.
5 The sun also rises, and the sun goes down,
And hastens to the place where it arose.
6 The wind goes toward the south,
And turns around to the north;
The wind whirls about continually,
And comes again on its circuit.
7 All the rivers run into the sea,
Yet the sea is not full;
To the place from which the rivers come,
There they return again.
8 All things are full of labor;
Man cannot express it.
The eye is not satisfied with seeing,
Nor the ear filled with hearing.

9 That which has been is what will be,
That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which it may be said,
“See, this is new”?
It has already been in ancient times before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things,
Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come
By those who will come after.

Labels

Today I would like to delve into an area that has had most people struggling and subsequently hurting. Let's say someone asks you, "Who are you?" It comes as no surprise that you will start by stating your name then probably what you do or the attributes that you have that you'd like people to identify you with. These are labels. What we fail to realize, however, is that, at times we label ourselves inappropriately; we come short of the real description of who we are. Unknowingly, we judge ourselves and slap our souls with demeaning names and attributes that characteristically diminish our true value.

A great friend and mentor once told me, “Do not let the labels you put on yourself define you…you are definitely more than that. People will only judge you by whatever labels you put on yourself.” That was some profound piece of advice. So basically, if you label yourself as a failure, you will be addressed as a failure. If you label yourself as a guy or chic who has little to none confidence, that is just about the exact label others will pick. That is why I am always disturbed when I hear a lady refer to herself using the “b” word (ooh, you don’t know the b-word? Google…). It is outrageous to demand for respect and value from practically anyone when you rarely value yourself.

I used to have confidence issues. I could cringe at the thought of talking to more than one person. Slowly, I labelled myself as “inadequate”, “antisocial” and “coward”. I used to believe all these attributes were genetic. I even started to trace the roots of fear in our family tree and this really messed me up, especially when that time came and a man has got to man-up and face that pretty girl, hehee! My heart would pound hard and fast! My head would be filled with conflicting thoughts that more often than not made me wince and back away. These thoughts were mostly founded on the labels that I had already created. Labels affected my social life, my academic life, and definitely my personal life. At times I would dread my own self! It had to stop. I had to man-up. I had to be the man I always desired to be; the confident guy with redefined thoughts and realigned perspectives. This took me way too long.

Source: www.dreamstime.com

So you failed? Good, at least you now know where you do not want to head into. Did you break someone’s heart and consequentially think you are a natural heartbreaker? Come on; brace yourself for better experiences and for better decisions ahead. Or were you heartbroken and did this make you feel worthless and incapable of holding a relationship together? I believe the best is yet to come and great things await those who wait patiently. Relabel yourself. You are the boss. You were made for so much more than what your past tries to instigate. You can be anything you put your mind, your energy and your passion to be; including a jerk, a loser, a good-for-nothing, a brag, a heartbreaker or a worthless human. It’s up to you to decide if you will label yourself negatively or positively. Why should you therefore let any mistake, failure, wrong friendships/relationships define you? Define yourself. Discover who you are. Know thyself. Identify the areas you would like to improve in your life. Practice on making those areas perfect. Come on; be you. Be the great you. Be the awesome you, the person who can be a solution to someone else.


Source: kingdomkat03.deviantart.com
Put your best foot forward. If someone who made it discourages you and tells you that you cannot make it, they lie through their teeth. How else did they make it? If someone who is struggling with demeaning labels pulls your efforts down, tell them to up their game and follow you as you fly past your labels. Make every effort to label yourself as a victor, a conqueror, a success story, a champion, a leader, the “mayor”, the boss, the “chief”, the “General”, the “President”, etc. No one can ever address you as the President or the Champion when you look like some chicken that was rained on, run over by a truck, but still survived, though after an electric insurgence that almost left it featherless. Be the lion. ROAR!!!

Source: www.flickr.com

The Societal Jungle

"When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?" Chuck Palahniuk, is a quote that got me thinking..and thinking hard! We live in a society where most of us believe in the saying "Every man for himself and God for us all". It is absurd..I mean man (and by man I mean a human being) is a social being that cannot solely exist. We all need that one person who can assure us of their continuous support. We need that one guy who occasionally tells us "I am here for you..I will help you..I gat your back" even if they could be lying (sadly). 

It is unfortunate that the act of togetherness and collectivism is a notion that is quickly fading away. It is a jungle society. Chaos. Hullaballoos. Nobody really cares for anybody. Everybody is up and running to seal that deal, strike that agreement, climb that career ladder, make it to the top of that class, get your company named by Forbes as the fastest growing company in wherever you are..self, self, self!! It is always about self! I recently stumbled on one statement posted on one of the social media sites by a friend of mine saying, "If it's not about me then I am not interested". My eyebrows distanced themselves from my eye sockets. I mean I was shocked! We are no longer our brothers' keepers. We never care about the next person- as long as he/she is a threat to our survival. We all want to make it to the top even if it means stepping on others' shoulders and heads to reach there. 

Source: Mail Online (www.dailymail.co.uk)

Sometimes we even create little dynastical cocoons that make us believe that we gat it; that we need no help whatsoever, that no one can tell us nuthin'. Oh well. We get more and more "technological" and less and less social (am also speaking to myself here). We regularly put in some "eeh..by the way..haha lol..enyewe..waaah true..ooh" into face to face conversations just to make relevant interactions while we go about our "technological" businesses. We know how to follow others on Twitter yet we keep track of less or no real friends at all. Our Facebook friend lists are swelling up each day..the friends could even spill over to the 5k limit, yet the real friends that we keep in touch with, and talk to, face-to-face, are like just 2 or 3. Virtual realities! Implied meanings! Virtual relationships! Ironically, "Social" media has killed our social nature as human beings. We even press the like button, double tap and say "Wow, am happy for you bruh.." or "hehe, hii ni kali (this is awesome)" when in our hind-thoughts we are like"this guy is such a brag.." or "Damn it! the guy made it to the top".

I challenge the ideology of survival of/for the fittest. Yeah, yeah, it's the 21st century and processes or systems have changed. The Kenyan Nyumba Kumi Initiative has just been turned to an initiative of knowing your neighbour's door number and that's all. We don't even say hi to our neighbours. We do not succeed if some of us fail as a result. We do not make it in life by simply frustrating other people's lives. I always say one thing, success is a process, not just the end-result. So I attain my life goals, I get a few awards here and there, I get mentioned by a couple of media houses, websites and organisations as a champion/an expert in a certain field..then what? Will I have impacted on someone's life? Will I have changed the "system"? Will I have made someone smile..like a real smile, not this emoji :). Will I have helped someone in need..warmly greeted someone who has social issues and wanted to give up on life? Will I have made a positive difference in this life? Or will I have stepped on others..hurt them..made them feel worthless..made them hate men or women..made them give up on their dreams?

In this Society's jungle, are there proponents of humanity, love, compassion, hope, genuineness, integrity, and all other societal values? Or are we teaching the next generation to just value socialitism (I made that word up to mean the "art of being a socialite". Hahaa! That was a genuine laughter). 

Celebrating My Dad

As #PapaTaughtMe was a trending topic on Twitter a few days ago, I pondered of the many things that my dad taught me both in actions and in speech. I will list a few of these lifelong lessons for purposes of celebrating this great gentleman ahead of the Fathers' Day.

-He taught me how to pronounce some words like "baba" "teta" (cow) "titiit"(my baby language for a car :D)

-Dad taught me how to walk. He did this by standing behind me, holding both of my hands from up and taking baby steps with me saying "tanda, tanda". No wonder I have an awesome walking style hehe! I salute you sir!

- Papa taught me how to change a car tyre

- He taught me a few algebra sums

- He taught me English grammar and also, how to fill all the crossword puzzles.

- Dad taught me how to be an effective leader. He once stepped in to lead my primary school, as the BOG member, after teachers went on strike.

- Dad taught me how to be a gentleman.

- Papa taught me how to be a family man. He once struggled with a den of robbers who wanted to break into our home when I was a few months old. Heroic demonstration!

The list goes on and on. I have never done this before and am ashamed that in my 20s (nearly 30 now hehe), not once have I ever appreciated this great man for being my childhood hero and mentor. So as the day unfolds, I would like him to know that he is a great man and though we might have had misunderstandings and a couple of beefs when I was growing up, he still is the man I look up to.

Happy Fathers' Day Mr. Wesley. You will always be my hero.

Ps: I will draft a hard copy letter for him to ensure the point is well driven; and then I will attach it here later.

Happy Fathers' Day to all fathers who never quite get any recognition.
Happy Fathers' Day to fathers who go beyond their means to be there for their families.

Happy Fathers' Day to all men and potential fathers who take a brave step of starting a family and being relentless in their responsibilities.

Happy Fathers' Day to men who mentor and care for kids and young adults though they are not their biological children.

They say anyone can be a father but few can be dads.

Fame

The claim for fame is a game
A serious one that has no tame
It renders some incompetent; others brave
Its a game tirelessly played in a maze.

The claim for fame is a notion
A notion that you deserve recognition
A belief that things should be in motion
This belief at times gives you an illusion.

Diligence always pays
However some work hard for fame
Why work hard to get named?
On the top blogs, riding on top lanes?

Well, for me, give me no fame
Let me serve even though not in public domains
I believe in service to humans, goodness for all
This belief long time ago gave me a wake up call.

They say what you give is what you get
And I believe people are good though they may forget
People can be evil when their self-ish nature gets a grip
Make a difference though, let your goodness drip.

©DazzleRhymes™

What am I Doing with My Life?

So yesterday as I was watching Churchill Show, I saw something, a feature, an act that really inspired me. Groove Award-winning gospel artist Kevin Bahati was invited to the show and boy, let's not even get into the details of his talent. He was interviewed by the host, Churchill and Bahati explained how he was brought up in a children's home and how that fact motivated him to adopt three children. Stop right there. This guy is just like 21 years of age and he is already impacting the world over not only with his talent but also with his act of service. I was just humbled to listen to this guy's story and that got me thinking, what am I doing with my life?


Source: funzypics.com

I have read countless blogs and articles that talk about making use of your time and resources when one is in their 20s. I have assessed myself, tried to figure what I was made for and trust me it is a tricky "algebra" trying to do this. I mean, I know what I like, what I hate, what am passionate about and what I comfortably to do. However, I just feel like am not putting my hands on something that will help someone, or secure "a bright future" for generations after. In one of his great speeches, Steve Jobs once said that figuring out what you love doing is winning the war halfway. The war of self-discovery.

I would say the journey of self-discovery boils down to one aspect: acceptance. Just like in the jungle, no monkey can be the king of the jungle. We all know that the lion is the undisputed king. However, a monkey can be the supreme leader of his troops and make a difference in their vicinity. Hope am not losing you with all these metaphors. All am saying is, if I want to discover what am best in, I need to first accept who I am. For example, if I am to be a globally renowned basketball player, I need to accept the fact that am a medium-height guy. I can still do it however hard it may seem, I can rise above limitations and do the impossible. Accepting oneself is core. It is inevitable. It requires complete transparency and above all, being real.

I am inspired today to reach out to greatness. Not through aping others' paths and acts. It is good to have someone to look up to. But if I want to be the best at something, I need to look beyond. To desire more. What distinguishes the great from the mediocres is simply uniqueness. I have to be unique otherwise I will be like everyone else. Why be a wannabe when clearly and evidently you have unique DNA? So, what in the eyes of nature and heavens am I doing with my life??


Source:techtoll.in